Date Night

So, a happy happy happy post….. As well as funerals, I am honoured to be licensed, through the Caledonian Humanist Society to conduct legal marriages in Scotland.  I love my role, the people I meet and seeing my couples all sparkly eyed and full of hopes and dreams…. I love listening to their stories of how they met, what attracted them to each other and what’s the glue that holds them together.  The other week, I met with one of my lovely couples who are marrying in the summer.  He works away from home 3 months at a time, while she works shifts for the NHS.  When he is at home, they try to spend as much time together as they possibly can, enjoying one another’s company and socialising.

What sort of things do you do, I asked.  Oh, all sorts, we just pick something out of the jar.   The jar?  Tell me more…….  Well, this lovely couple have a date night jar – although it’s used all the time and not just for date nights.  The jar came about as they’d be sitting speaking about things they wanted to do, films they wanted to see etc, and by the time they got round to going to the cinema, the film was gone.  They’d go out for something to eat and spend 20 minutes debating where they’d eat.  Or they’d get up in the morning and waste half a day deciding what they wanted to do.  So, the jar was born…….  anytime they say they fancy doing something, it’s written on a post it note and popped in the jar.  But it’s not just as simple as that – they colour code it.  Now I’m not going to try and pretend that I remember what each and every colour represented, but for arguments sake, lets just say that yellow was something they could do instantaneously, blue was a weekend away, green was a day trip, red was a night out, orange a day out.   When I asked what sort of thing they wrote on their post its, it was things like: go bowling; drive to Portsoy for ice-cream, weekend in a campervan in the highlands.   So that’s the theory – does it work in practice?  Absolutely.  They get up in the morning and never have to say ‘what are we doing today’.  Instead “it’s your turn to pick”.  They pluck something out of the jar and whatever they say is what they do.  No time wasting.  What a fantastic idea!  Especially because these 2 are not technology dinosaurs like me.  They are part of the generation where you find everything at your fingertips.

They were happy for me to share this, and my bride to be even sent me a photo of their jar.  It has inspired me, and I’m going to start a jar – but mine will be a Sunday jar, and only if I’m not working!  It’s the simplest things in life that bring us pleasure – maybe we should all take a leaf out of their book and start our own jars.

If any of you have similar stories, I’d love to hear them.  K xx


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